On love and sex
by camomilehottea
Summary: Cartman/Kyle


"Do you know what'll be like _really _funny?" Cartman asked, his legs crossed as he sat on the edge of Kyle's bed. The aforementioned Jew raised his eyebrows.

"What?"

"If that guy on youtube who blends everything just goes crazy and becomes a serial killer who blends his victims," Cartman smiled, and then in an imitation, "_this is people gas, don't breathe it._"

Kyle let out a giggle, and Cartman took him by the ankles and pulled him towards himself. Kyle wrapped his legs around the fat boys waist on impulse. He pressed his ankles against his back. He could feel his spine. Cartman moaned a little as he felt Kyle's crotch (albeit clothed) on his stomach.

"Hey Kahl."

"Mm?"

"Why do Jews get circumcised?"

"Fine, Cartman, why?"

"To economise on space in their pants!" Cartman vibrated in laughter and Kyle groaned in frustration and looked away, pouting.

"Especially in this credit crunch!" Cartman still laughed. Kyle felt the laughter go through his ears and hit him straight in the heart. And regardless of how disgusting the joke was and how offended he should have been, he took Cartman's face in both hands and slammed their lips together.

He'd play the annoyed Jew later. For now he wanted to take pleasure in the part of the…relationship that he liked. Being so mentally and emotionally attached to Cartman - and regardless if he was gay or not - provided them with options both horrific and passionate. It was passion in itself that seemed to drive them. The passion of hate and the passion of love and the passion of need. When they fought, they might as well be having sex.

And they both realised that.

Kyle pulled away from the kiss and Cartman looked at him wet-lipped.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

Cartman bucked his hips, "I'm big boned."

"Dude!" Kyle laughed despite himself, probably due to the fact he couldn't think straight when the 'big bone' was pressing against his ass. He looked at Cartman, his face pink with laughter and hair messy. He was much more adorable than anyone gave him credit for.

And although he could still see that _evil _in him he thought he was cute. Cartman, to the core, is so fucked up his heart could be black. And despite of that, he completes him.

Actually not in despite of but _because _of. Being the counter opposite is completion in its most purest form. Not clouded, but clean. Understandable, even to Cartman whose insanity stopped him from seeing so much.

Cartman put his ear up to Kyle's chest and listened to his heartbeats. Kyle, pleasantly surprised, kissed the top of Cartman's hair.

"Ugh, don't be such a fag Kahl," Cartman said.

"You're the one who's got your fat face pressed up to my chest!" Kyle retorted. Cartman pulled away and had a crooked smile on his face. Kyle wondered if he'd live to see the day where Eric Cartman's smile looked really human. It always seemed to have a crazy sadness about it.

"You're flustered."

"No, I'm horny," Kyle said, and unzipped his jeans. Cartman tensed his muscles, and feeling it on his own body just made Kyle harder. Cartman stuck his hand down Kyle's boxers.

"Jew cock," he grinned, and took it out. He ran his thumb along the length of it, loving the feeling of the veins caressing his own skin.

They'd been touching each other since they were ten years old. To Cartman it had always just been an extension of his obsession. His need to touch every part of Kyle until he reached his soul.

To Kyle, as soon as he was old enough to know how to make his dick hard the words sex and Cartman were like nooks and crannies. He felt disgusted in himself for thinking that way - but then again almost everything reminded him of Cartman. It was like torture having him in his head all the time.

At least when he thought of Cartman in a sexual way he didn't have to put up with all that hate that plagued his body. It was like some sort of perverse aversion therapy. Somehow it had ended up in Kyle thinking of Cartman every time he jacked off.

"Are you blushing Kahl?" Cartman interrupted the flow of thoughts.

"Of course I'm blushing, your hand is on my cock!"

"You like that?" Cartman asked, sounding like a character from a bad film. It was so typical of him that Kyle didn't even notice anymore.

"I love it."

"Do you love me?"

Kyle's eyes went wide and he looked at Cartman. There was Cartman, and he looked human. He looked nervous, as if he'd been thinking about this for a while.

He'd been thinking about it since he was four years old. He wanted to scream tell me you stupid Jew! Tell me that you fucking love me.

"I love you," Kyle whispered. Now it was Cartman's eyes that went wide.

"Don't be such a fag Kahl!"

"I walked right into that one, didn't I?" Kyle sighed. He leaned back as Cartman continued with the hand job, and eventually burst until Cartman was elbow deep in his cum. The bigger boy wiped it off on Kyle's jacket, much to Kyle's dismay, and then both lay back on the bed. Cartman pressed Kyle to him, holding him so tight as if he was afraid something was going to happen to him.

"Do you love me?" Kyle suddenly asked.

Without thinking:

"I love you Kyle Broflovski."


End file.
